Where the Rubber Meets the Road - in Conflict

Lord, help me to care enough to confront. 

In Conflict

Matthew 18: 15-17 (NIV)

¹⁵ “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. ¹⁶ But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’¹⁷ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Discussion Questions:

1. When have you seen indirect communication (I.e. texting, email etc.) make a conflict worse rather than better? How? What would be examples of direct communication?
2. What communication advice might you give to someone who was in a conflict with a family member? A co-worker? An ex-spouse? What factors affect how you engage?

Group Exercise:

Role play how you engage each the following situations. What factors would you consider in how you might engage?

1. You see a married Christian friend “flirting” with someone other than their spouse.
2. You are out with a group of your buddies (same gender as you). During the course of the evening one of your friends speaks very disparagingly about their spouse, including many private details.
3. Someone you know pretty well from church posts a very harsh accusation about a friend of yours on their Facebook wall. You believe the accusations to be untrue.

Deeper Group Question:

Without giving names or identifying details - what is a conflict you are current experiencing? What are you learning about yourself through it? How can we pray for you in it?

Where the Rubber Meets the Road - Service

God gave you a gift. Discover it. Use it to serve. 

Service

1 Peter 4:10 (NIV)

¹⁰ Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others,as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

Personal Questions to Consider:

What are things that others tell me I am good at?

What especially motives me? (A specific cause? An issue? A demographic? knowing that I helped someone? Etc.)

Where have I served before and really enjoyed it?

Where would I like to try serving to see if it might be a good fit?

What is my next step forward in using my gifts for service?

Other Bible Passages About Service and Gifts:

Romans 12:6-8. 1 Corinthians 12:4-11, Ephesians 4:11-16

Group Discussion Questions:

What is the best “team” you've ever been a part of? What made it such a great team?

If you could have your “dream job?” what might that be? What about this job especially appeals to you?

What do all the listed Bible passages have in common? What's the reason God gives people gifts?

What advice might you give to a Christian friend who said, “I have no gifts, and I don't think God could use me for anything?”

Group Challenge – Knowing what you know about the people in your group, list the potential gifts you see in each person in the group. “Brainstorm” ideas for how these gifts might be used in service.

Where the Rubber Meets the Road - Healthy Living

What's a soul? Your soul is the whole of who you are, including your body. How you treat your body, and the bodies of others matter. 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)

¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

   your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Group Discussion Questions:

What are some of the “boxes” in your life? Which boxes are currently the most healthy? Which are the least?

How do your most healthy “boxes” affect the rest?

How do the less healthy “boxes” affect the rest?

How might knowing that “physical health” and “relational health” are connected to “spiritual health” affect how you might care for someone who is sick? Care for yourself?

What does it mean to you to “honor God with your body?”

If six months from now you were “more healthy” overall than you are today – what might be different from the way it is now? What support do you need from others in order to be more healthy?

Where the Rubber Meets the Road - In the Bedroom

Sex. A beautiful, powerful gift. Handle with care.

Bible Verses About Human Sexuality:

Designed by God – Genesis 1:27-28,2:18-24.

For Marital Oneness - Genesis 4:1, 1 Corinthians 6:15-17.

For Pleasure – Song of Solomon (The entire book!)

For Holiness – 1 Corinthians 6:18, 7:1-6.

Reserved for Marriage – Hebrews 13:4, Exodus 20:14

God's Forgiveness and Restoration from Sexual Sin – John 8:1-11, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.

Word Definitions:

Adultery – sexual activity between a married person and someone who is not that person's wife or husband.

Fornication - consensual sexual activity between two persons not married to each other.

Connection Group Questions:

What Christian sexual values do you think are the most “counter-cultural?” (Make a list.)

How have you seen Christian sexual values mocked or misunderstood in culture?

How have you seen “lived out” Christian sexual values make a positive example?

How might you graciously explain these values to someone who didn't have a Bible background?

What advice might you give to Christian parents about how to talk to their children about sex?

What advice might you give to someone who felt like they were “too broken” sexually to ever be forgiven? What Bible passages might help? (Turn this page over for local support resources.)

Spiritual Support & Health Resources:

Recommended Local Counselors:

Strength of Life Counseling, Paul and Kim Barger - 200 N Chelan Ave. Wenatchee. (509) 888-4866

Discovery Counseling & Consulting, Inc. Mitch Whitman - 1307 Orchard Ave. Wenatchee. (509) 888-0894

Wenatchee Family Counseling Service. Norman Stueckle. (509) 662-6510.

Unplanned Pregnancy Support:

Life Choices - 300 S Okanogan Ave Wenatchee, (509) 662-0652

Pornography Support:

xxxchurch.com. Many porn recovery resources.

Covenanteyes.com. Accountability software.

Pornography Addiction Support Group - (509) 679-3553. Meets Mondays.

Spouses of Sex Addicts Support Group - (509) 662-9476. Meets Thursdays.

Post Abortion Support Groups:

Life Choices - 300 S Okanogan Ave Wenatchee, (509) 662-0652

Talking to Your Kids About Sex:

How and When to Talk to Your Kids about Sex, Stan and Brenna Jones. NavPress. (For Parents)

Facing the Facts, Stan and Brenna Jones. NavPress. (Designed for Pre-Teens)

Building Marital Intimacy:

Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage by Kevin Leman

Love and Respect by Emmerson Eggerichs

Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman